


He Made Me Wear The Hat!

by kete



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kete/pseuds/kete
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Janine's interview with The One Show - she made it up!</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Made Me Wear The Hat!

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick one shot... Couldn't resist. ;-)

"With us tonight at The One Show is Miss Janine Hawkins freshly escaped from the matrimonial trap and her engagement to one of Britain's most eligible bachelors, Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective and all around man of mystery!"

*cue applause*

"Good evening, Janine!"

"Good evening, Alex!"

"So, what's he like the man beneath the hat?"

"Oh, he's an absolute sweetheart and a real gentleman! Very sensitive, romantic, a real teddy bear."

"Why are you on the run then? Are you a run-away-bride?"

"Oh, no, no, not at all, Matt, I do want to marry, just not right now, you know. I have a high profile job -"

"What are you doing, Janine?"

"Well, I'm a PA."

"A PA?"

"Yes, but not, you know, just any PA in an insurance company or something like that. I'm personal assistant to Mr Charles Augustus Magnussen, who, as you know, is a media-tycoon, and so my job is very high-class, confidential and demanding. I'm talking sixteen hour days and six days a week. There's hardly time for a relationship."

"How very interesting. So, how did you two meet, you and Sherlock Holmes?"

"We met at our friends' wedding, I was the bridesmaid and he was best man."

"Oh, that's romantic!"

"Yes, indeed it was. We both felt the connection at once and then we danced the night away. He's a real good dancer!"

"That's so sweet. How did it go from there?"

"Well, he called the next day and asked if he could see me again and I thought, why not, you know, and then he sent flowers..."

"How very old fashioned. So, he's a cavalier?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely. Opens doors, holds your coat, flowers, cards, that sort of thing. Quite sweet, really. And he's got such a nice family, too. Pure love and harmony!"

"Awwwww... So, you did go out for a while and then...?"

"Then he showed up at my place of work with an engagement ring."

"Aw, and that was when you knew..."

"Yes, yes, that was when I had to make a decision. And I just found that I'm not ready. I mean, Sherl, he wants a stay-at-home wife and children and I'm just not cut out for that. Not yet anyway."

"What a pity!"

"Yeah, in a way..."

"What are his interests? Has he got any hobbies?"

"Oh, yes, he plays the violin, quite lovely, you know. He reads a lot, mostly poetry. And he has a real knack for home decorating. You should see his origami. Great cook, too. He's so adorable wearing that flowered apron his landlady gave him for his birthday!"

"But, Janine, after all you've told us, I feel really sorry for the guy. How did he take the breakup?"

"Aw, Alex, last time I saw him he was wounded to the heart. But I'm sure Bunny will pull through."

"So, Janine, the head lines today were rather naughty. I mean, "He Made Me Wear The Hat? What's that all about?"

*naughty giggle*

"Oh dear, Matt, I rather let the cat out of the bag, didn't I? Well, it's a harmless enough foible, but yes, he insisted I wear the hat when we got... erm, romantic, you know."

"Well, why not? So, what is your concluding assessment, Janine? Is he a catch?"

"Oh, absolutely! There never was a kinder heart. And such a lovely temper. Never a harsh word. And I know for a fact, that he's in the market and looking for the right woman. So, ladies, take a chance! Look up his email address on his website The Science of Deduction dot org dot uk and let him know you're interested. Sherl will be delighted to hear from you! He's such a romantic and looking for true love. You could be the one!"

"Janine, thank you for coming."

"Thanks for having me! It's been fun."

*applause, applause, applause*

 

Somewhere across the city Sherlock Holmes groaned and closed his laptop.

mail counter: 14,387 - 14,388 - 14,389 - 14,390 - 14,391.....


End file.
